Who Is Yangki Christine Akiteng, The Love Doctor
~ Enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials
to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, and
enough hope to bring you joy.~
Hi, call me Yangki
(pronounced "Young-key")
or Christine or simply, Akiteng
(pronounced "Ah-key-etay-ng"), your choice... ;-)
Although my academic training is in Psychology, my knowledge of relationships and what I pass on to my clients comes from ordinary people like yourself who have made this journey before you. And as you'll read from my story below (we all have one, don't we?! :-)), I've been blessed to be in a position where I can help others, not because I'm "better" than the people I help, but because I am "them". It may be presumptuous of me to say I can help you. After all, your situation may be very unique and completely different from any other. I understand, respect and appreciate the fact that each and everyone of us is an individual, and believe me when I say, I've been privileged to be allowed the opportunity to really experience first hand the internal resources that reside in each and every one of us. Until I had the privilege of working with people of all ages, races and from all walks of life, I had no clue really, no real understanding or appreciation of the world from diverse perspectives. A big part of what I love about what I do is the honesty and integrity people demonstrate as they discover more of what they're really made of. It is as though they don't want to know just how much power they have over themselves and the kind of relationship they can have, but as they turn and face the truth it's not so bad. And then it's not bad at all. Then it's really great! The more they discover about what they can do for themselves and for their relationships, the more they want to have a relationship that thrives in the pleasure of just being loved without all the drama that accompanies many of today's relationships. To be part of the experience of another person's struggle to breakthrough to a new and satisfying way of being, seeing, feeling and acting is the most exciting and extremely gratifying part of my work. Sometimes I think I get more excited about my client's love journeys and stories than they do! Watching my clients blast through obstacles to create fulfilling lives and great relationships is a feeling that can't be fully expressed in words. It always makes me think to myself "I couldn't have been anywhere else doing anything else. This is it!" It's that profound.
I take my job seriously and really try to keep it real and simple. I am so very aware that I am dealing with real people and believe that as love coaches we need to raise the "human-factor" bar. This is probably one of the reasons that at least 85% of my new clients are referred to me by clients who have made romantic connections or
are in fulfilling loving relationships as a result of the skills they acquired from my coaching (read my client testimonials and what they're saying about working with me).
I was born and raised in what is probably one of the most ancient traditional societies in the world.
Herbert D. Prawius says it better when he wrote: I
quit my job in International Development and rid myself of the
toxic people in my life. After much inner work, amazing things started happening in my life. At some point (I don't recall when), I must have become aligned to my life's purpose because men and women, young and old, friends and total strangers almost like instinctively would start telling me about their relationship problems. Sometimes it was "you seem like a really nice person, can I talk to you about something'" Sometimes the conversation eased into relationship problems. And sometimes, I'd over hear a conversation and step in with some advice. At first I thought my ability to help others was a result of my many years of relationship problems. But as I continued my "healing and growth process", it became all crystal clear. It was my destiny.
What shapes my character
I've been described as warm and compassionate to a fault,
unflappable and unapologetically straightforward -- in many ways
a "rebel soul" dancing to it's own drumbeat. What that means is
that you are guaranteed a coaching experience that is not only
productive and rewarding but fun and adventurous.
So many experiences have shaped my character and made me who I
am today. But nothing - and nobody - has had more influence on
my person as where I was born and raised, and the people who
helped me take my first steps on this journey that we call life.
"Life has for the most part remained unchanged for thousands of years. Western technology, medicine, dress culture, and Christianity, found in varying degrees throughout Uganda, have made virtually no inroads among the Karimojong. Geographically, ethnically, and politically, Karamoja is, for all practical purposes, a country within a country. For better or for worse, the land and its people remain a vestige of pre-colonial Africa".
This is also one of the "poorest" parts of Africa, so poor that even the poor people in Uganda to this day call this the "poorest part of the world".
But they say, "One man's concept of poverty, is another man's concept of gracious plenty".
As materially deprived my background was, growing up in this
part of the world was the best thing that could have ever
happened to me because great HUMANITY I found here.
No pretences, no trying to impress anyone and no need to appear to be who we were not. We had one very basic qualification for belonging -- being a human being with strengths and weaknesses, blessings and struggles, and individual talents and individual faults.
This is where I learned to be a simple human being among other
simple human beings...
Looking back, no amount of money or material possessions would have given me a solid foundation from which to step out into the big world with so much love in my heart and a big wide smile on my face. I am sometimes asked what I am always smiling about and I just say "LIFE". I would have never in my wildest dreams crafted a path more rich in life experiences -- lessons, blessings and opportunities -- as the one I have walked this far. For that, I will forever be grateful to God.
Struggles with commitment phobia
I grew up feeling special and very much loved at home, at school and basically by everyone except for the one person I fantasized about, dreamed about, and thought about almost every waking moment of my young life -- my biological father. I saw my biological father a couple of times for a few hours each time.
The first when I was 5, and again when I was 11. That was all.
As a grown up woman, the child in me who felt abandoned by my father made sure I could make the men want to be in my life (always and forever). The "child' in me wanted to show them what an attractive, charming and loving caring woman I had grown up to be,
because my father never got to meet that every parent's "dream child" turned every man's "dream woman". My inner child also wanted to "punish" the men for (unlike my father) being
"too available". Basically "punish" them for messing up my sick game.
The power of the game of fear
Everything was 'great' until he began talking about commitment and 'the future.' Something inside me instantly disconnected. I still loved him and all that but I felt pressured, crowded, smothered, trapped and
"owned'. There was nothing "wrong" with these guys or the relationship, and it's not like I was "settling" because they met everyone of my criteria (and more) for what I was looking for in a guy. The were "right" in every sense of the word and I was very attracted to them and even loved them with all my heart -- and had no doubts whatsoever that they loved me right back. But commitment' triggered a mental image of a
"bird in a cage" with its wings clipped and it's free-spirit crashed by a programmed routine existence. I became distant instantly. It was like a survival instinct.
The more distant I became the more desperate the men became. A couple of them started checking up on me behind my back, asking my friends and family and talking to anybody who knew me for
"input" on where they stood. Sometimes they'd confront me wanting to know if there was someone else, if I still loved them, if I found such and such a man attractive, if I was for real etc. I answered with the same honesty and openness as before but disconnected. If he got angry, I never got angry back. If he became emotional and cried, I cried with him. If he wanted to talk about "our future" I just kept quite or told him "let's take a day at a time". After begging and pleading with nothing working they'd give up and leave. When it looked like they were leaving I would turn around and beg them "not to leave me" only to lose interest again as soon as the relationship became serious. I would play this sick game until the man got tired and left - for good.
For many years I ran, I hid and I broke hearts, including my own. Whenever I was confronted about my behaviour by a family member or close friend I always laughed it off with "Why make one man happy when I can make many miserable". Unknown to me, my intended care-free humour was loaded with so much truth behind every word.
The truth and turning point
It's true what my people say: there is nothing like the desire for a mature soulful partnership to awaken in us the desire to understand the fullness of ourselves, to reconcile the conflicts, to heal the emotional wounds, to adjust and eventually to blend our sexual nature with the other parts of our lives.
This is how the universe gets our attention. This is how our soul gets our attention. This is how LOVE gets our attention.
It took me a trip to my native village for me to figure out why my existence had become superficial, empty, meaningless and depressing. Why my job in International Development
felt like I was wearing a fake mask that looked like
"compassion" but wasn't; and why my love life was such a mess. This was the only place I felt safe enough to come face to face with my "demons" .
It was at this point in my life, that I began to recognize the game I was playing with myself.
The more truth about myself I learned, the more determined I was to rescue myself from the behaviours
and life choices that were literally destroying my soul.
This is one of the reasons I had chosen to pursue a degree in Psychology. I know that now, but I chose Psychology because I thought I enjoyed learning why people behave the way they behave and do the things they do. I also now know that there was a reason I had to go through the "school of life". I needed enough personal practice (really great and really bad relationships) to be able to walk in others' shoes, take them by the hand (literally) and help them walk out of their own "prisons". I can do this, not because I'm "better" than the people I help, but because I am "them".
What I learned from my struggles
The school of life has taught me that life provides us with all we need to accomplish our role in the big design of things; to support and help others, to live fulfilled lives and to experience true happiness.
But many of us waste a lot of time and effort wanting to be someone else but ourselves; looking for our passion and our life's calling everywhere and anywhere but within. And we keep looking and never really being able to find it yet many clues lie around in the most obvious places.
Trust me on this, if you want to find those answers, you will. They may not be the answers you expect or want but they will be what you need to know NOW in order to manifest and unfold into your own greatness. If you honestly open up your heart and mind, you will see that even the "bad" experiences in your life are there as stepping stones to your greatness, but only if you step on and rise above them.
I always say to my clients, if it happened to someone like me, it can happen to you! You just have to want it badly enough to do whatever it takes!
Academic education & training
Post Graduate level training in Humanistic and Experiential Counseling, (University of Surrey, UK);
Certificate in Expressive Arts Therapy (University of Surrey, UK);
Advanced Certificate in Trauma Counseling (Toronto Advanced Professional Education/University of St. Michael at University of Toronto);
Solution Focused Counseling (Faculty of Social Work, University of Toronto)
Crisis Management, Long-Term Treatment of Adult Survivors of Childhood Trauma, Treatment for Traumatized Unresolved Adult Issues (Toronto Advanced Professional Education/University of St. Michael at University of Toronto);
Addictions Studies (Toronto Advanced Professional Education/University of St. Michael at University of Toronto).
Image Management, Personal Change, Verbal and Non-Verbal Communication, Color Analysis, Power Presentations, Social & Business Etiquette, Makeup & Grooming (International Image Institute, Toronto, Canada);
Degree in Psychology and Political Science (Makerere University, Kampala, Uganda);
Diploma in Mass Communication (School of Mass Communication, Kampala, Uganda)
Certificate in Journalism (Uganda Management Institute)
Learn more about coaching fees and packages.
Coaching Links
Save Your Relationship
Get Your Ex Back!
Attract True Love
