I am so very ordinary and do not pretend to be a guru on anything or "holy expert" on right and wrong.  But I am blessed with a loving heart, and unique ability (much of it from personal experience) to understand and explain man-woman dynamics, capacity to walk in other people's shoes, reach them where they are at in their lives, help them get back on their feet and inspire them to live the life and relationship they were meant to live.

This is The Kind Of Love I'm Talking About. This is who I always will be, always want to be.  Nothing will ever change that!
 

Here I candidly share with you my victories, my failures, my pain, my fears, my resolve, my gifts, my abilities, and how I got to where I am today...

One reason I am doing this is because I believe that by baring myself to you, you'll not only have a good sense of who I am as a person but you'll see in your own self the unique and special individual you already are. 

Hopefully you'll be inspired to look for your own answers in your own life, your own upbringing, particular events in your life (good and bad) and the religious and cultural influences that shape your beliefs, values, attitude, thoughts, actions, and how you approach love and how you have relationships.

Who really am I?

When asked to introduce myself, I used to list all my academic qualifications and professional achievements, but that changed three years ago. 

I was waiting at the airport for my three daughters who were landing in Canada from Uganda.  I had not seen them in more than three years and was waiting in the arrivals terminal with a group of friends when a smiling Immigrations Officer walked up to me and said  "Christine, your daughters are in there.  I need you to come in through that door and sign the papers to complete their landing status".

Surprised, I asked, "how did you know I was Christine?" He told me:  "I asked your daughters how I will recognize their mother among so many people waiting at the arrivals terminal and they said  "she's somewhat tall, somewhat light skinned and has big hair".  I told them there are probably a hundred somewhat tall, somewhat light skinned women with big hair also waiting for their loved ones.  They looked at each other and said "she smiles a lot" and here you are, smiling a lot, just as your daughters said you would be".

That is how I always want to be known and remembered - she smiles a lot. But more than that, I want to be known as the one who helps others find reason to smile a lot.

What is it that I love about coaching?

I love people and I love helping people move away from a place of feeling "hopeless" and discouraged to "hope- full", excited, passionate and joyful;  from feeling powerless and depressed to feeling power- full, sensuous and vitally alive. 

I am incredibly passionate about my work and the results it brings to my clients.  A big part of what I love about what I do is the honesty and integrity people demonstrate as they discover more of themselves. It is as though they don't want to know what's inside but as they turn and face the truth it's not so bad. And then it's not bad at all.  Then it's really great! The deeper they go the more they seek the truth about themselves more vigorously, and the more they yearn for real life; life that thrives in the pleasure of just being alive, in the moment.

Sometimes I think I get more excited about other's successes than they do! Watching my clients blast through obstacles to create fulfilling lives and great relationships is a feeling that can't be fully expressed in words.   It always makes me think to myself "I couldn't have been anywhere else doing anything else.  This is it!"  It's that profound.

How did I become a coach?

From what I read, many Dating Coaches and Seduction Gurus become “experts” because they once were shy, ignored or had problems approaching and attracting the opposite sex. Others became “experts” because they found love after only one "trial and error" and have been married for many years. And others because they want to help their fellow men or women "beat" the opposite sex at their own game.

I became a Dating Coach because I love men and I am (and always have been) damn good with the opposite sex (excuse me for blowing my own horn, but it is the truth).

I grew up a tomboy and most of my close relationships were and are still with the opposite gender. Because of that I am completely at home around guys and can talk about many things that a man finds interesting (all the way) and I can be as "girly" as any woman can be.  This is probably why for many years, I was what Dr. Herb Goldberg calls the “Magic Lady” - the woman who causes men to behave in ways they had never dreamed they would and do things they’d ordinarily never would.

Although I am an attractive woman in every sense of the word (not the Playmate of the year type of attractive), looks wasn’t what earned me the “Magic Woman” aura.

What empowers my aura -- and shapes how I treat others?

In terms of material possessions I was born and raised in what is probably one of the most ancient and traditional societies in the world.

Herbert D. Prawius says it better when he wrote: Life has for the most part remained unchanged for thousands of years. Western technology, medicine, dress culture, and Christianity, found in varying degrees throughout Uganda, have made virtually no inroads among the Karimojong.   Geographically, ethnically, and politically, Karamoja is, for all practical purposes, a country within a country. For better or for worse, the land and its people remain a vestige of pre-colonial Africa.

This is also one of the materially poorest parts of Africa, so poor that even the poor people in Uganda to this day call this the "poorest part of the world". 

But they say one man’s concept of poverty is another man’s concept of gracious plenty.  As materially deprived my background was, growing up in this part of the world was the best thing that could have ever happened to me because great LOVE and HUMANITY I found here.  Every single day was special and lived to it's fullest --together.  We talked together. Laughed together. Wept together. Built homes together. Raised children together.  Sang together.  Danced together.  Walked through the sunshine and rain together. Prayed together. Hoped together. Changed together. Loved together.

No pretences, no trying to impress anyone and no need to appear to be who we were not.  We had one very basic qualification for belonging -- being a human being with strengths and  weaknesses, blessings and struggles, and individual talents and individual faults.

This is where I learned to be an authentic human being among other authentic human beings...

Looking back, no amount of money or material possessions would have given me a solid foundation from which to step out into the big world with so much love in my heart and a big wide smile on my face. I am sometimes asked what I am always smiling about and I just say "life". I would have never  in my wildest dreams crafted a path more rich in life experience -- lessons, blessings and opportunities -- as the one I have walked this far.  For that, I will forever be grateful to God.

I grew up feeling special and very much loved at home, at school and basically by everyone except for the one person I fantasized about, dreamed about, and thought about almost every waking moment of my young life -- my biological father.  I saw my biological father a couple of times for a few hours each time, first when I was 5 and again when I was 11 but that was all.

As a grown up woman, I subconsciously chased after my father in the men I dated (and even married).  A part of me sought out my father in the men I picked out (even looks and qualities) because that part of me wanted to make the men love me the way my father should have loved me. The child in me who felt abandoned by him made sure I could make the men want to be in my life (always and forever) because I wasn't able to make my father do it. That "inner child' wanted to show them what an attractive, charming and loving caring woman I had grown up to be because my father never got to meet that every parent's "dream child" turned every man “dream woman”. My inner child also wanted to "punish" the men for (unlike my father) being too available. Basically "punish" them for messing up my sick game.

When I was with a guy, I was this incredible woman who really knows how to love him - adoring but unneeding, loving but independent, assertive but without all the female pressures on him to impress me, make me happy or prove anything to me. Every one of these men told me what was "difficult" with other women seemed so easy with me. They felt so emotionally connected to me like I knew their very soul. They could be themselves around me, say what they want and feel without monitoring their language or thoughts because they felt that I truly understood them and loved them for who they were. No demands, no expectations, no unrealistic assumptions about relationships, no shoulds, no jealousies, no silly hide-and-seek dating games, no hang-ups and no fears of the future (so it seemed).

I was his dream woman: a successful professional, "dangerously" flirtatious, sex-positive, full of life, upfront, down to earth, understanding, affectionate, spontaneous, playful, adventurous, and authentic and honest with my feelings, needs and desires. A spiritual woman with a good heart, always there for others. And when I was in love, no woman loved like I did. I gave a man my heart, my love and my total trust. I held nothing back. In return the men wanted to be there for me, love me, protect me and give me everything I wanted, though I never asked for anything. I never had any of “he doesn’t spend enough time with me" because the guys would do anything to get to where I was even if it was for a day - including sleeping in airports waiting for a connecting flight. And I would be there at the “arrivals" terminal just the way they’d fantasized it.

Everything was “great” until he began talking about commitment and “the future.” Something inside me instantly disconnected. I still loved him and all that but I felt pressured, crowded, smothered, trapped and “wanted to be owned”.

There was nothing "wrong" with these guys or the relationship, and it's not like I was "settling" because they met everyone of my criteria (and more) for what I was looking for in a guy.  The were "right" in every sense of the word and I was very attracted to them and even loved them with all my heart -- and had no doubts whatsoever that they loved me right back.  But the words “commitment” triggered a mental image of a “bird in a cage” with its wings clipped and it’s free-spirit crashed by a programmed routine existence. I became distant instantly. It was like a survival instinct.

The more distant I became the more desperate the men became. A couple of them started checking up on me behind my back, asking my friends and family and talking to anybody who knew me for “input” on where they stood. Sometimes they’d confront me wanting to know if there was someone else, if I still loved them, if I found such and such a man attractive, if I was for real etc. I answered with the same honesty and openness as before but disconnected. If he got angry, I never got angry back. If he became emotional and cried, I cried with him. If he wanted to talk about  “our future” I just kept quite or told him “let’s take a day at a time”. After begging and pleading with nothing working they’d give up and leave. When it looked like they were leaving I would turn around and beg them "not to leave me" only to lose interest again as soon as the relationship became serious. I would play this sick game until the man got tired and left - for good.

But even them, every now and then they’d call to see if I was alright (or if there was someone else). Sometimes we got back together only to break-up as before. With everyone of them a great friendship followed in which I became an “advisor” on women - and I even found a wife for one of them.

For many years I ran, I hid and I broke hearts, including my own. Whenever I was confronted about my behaviour by a family member or close friend I always laughed it off with "Why make one man happy when I can make many miserable". Unknown to me, my intended care-free humour was loaded with so much truth behind every word.

It's true what my people say: there is nothing like the desire for a mature soulful sexual partnership to awaken in us the desire to understand the fullness of ourselves, to reconcile the conflicts, to heal the emotional wounds, to adjust and eventually to blend our sexual nature with the other parts of our lives. This is how the universe gets our attention. This is how our soul gets our attention. This is how LOVE gets our attention.

It took me a trip to my native village for me to figure out why my existence had become superficial, empty, meaningless and depressing, why my job in international development wasn't fulfilling anymore and why my love life was such a mess.  This was the only place I felt safe enough to come face to face with my “demons” .

It was at this point in my life, that I began to recognize the game I was playing with myself.

The more truth about myself I learned, the more determined I was to rescue myself from the behavior that was preventing me from manifesting a soulful, spiritually loving relationship. I threw myself into relearning the secrets of ancient erotic practices and courtship rituals so that I could use these secrets to refine my very active dating life.  But it wasn't just my love life that needed a complete makeover, my whole life needed a makeover.  My career needed a makeover. I quit my job.  I didn't know what I was going to do next, I just knew it was time to move on - and that God had a plan for my life.

After much inner work, amazing things started happening in my life. At some point (I don't recall when), I must have become aligned to my life's purpose because men and women, young and old, friends and total strangers almost like instinctively would start telling me about their relationship problems. Sometimes it was "you seem like a really nice person, can I talk to you about something? Sometimes the conversation eased into relationship problems. And sometimes, I'd over hear a conversation and step in with some advice. At first I thought my ability to help others was a result of my many years of relationship problems. But as I continued my "healing and growth process", it became all crystal clear. It was my destiny.

I come from a long line of generations of nurses, midwives, healers, ritual mothers, agony aunties and traditional match makers, and had somehow inherited my desire and passion for "being there for others in the moment of crisis and in the moment of great happiness."  This is one of the reasons I had chosen to pursue education in Psychology Counselling.  I know that now, but I chose Psychology because I thought I enjoyed learning why people behave the way they behave and do the things they do.  I also now know that there was a reason I had to go through the "school of life".  I needed enough personal practice (really great and really bad relationships).

My years of practice as a “Magic Woman” are not over. Now all that “power” is being channeled into more constructive use. Today I am in a committed relationship (still causing my man to behave in ways he’d never dreamed he would and driving him nuts he can't get enough of it) but even more, I am helping others reach deep down and find their own unique “power” to create a loving, fulfilling and exciting relationships.

What insights can you take from my life's story?

Life provides us with all we need to accomplish our role in the big design of things; to support and help others, to live fulfilled lives and to experience true happiness.  Many of us waste a lot of time and effort looking for our passion and our life's calling outside of ourselves - and keep looking and never really being able to find it.

I suggest you start with taking a good look at yourself; your parents, family, times and culture you were born into, the circumstances in which you grew up, the unique challenges you faced and continue to face, and the things that bring meaning and value to your life. You will be surprised as to how many clues lie around in the most obvious places - clues you keep missing because you are looking elsewhere but within, wanting to be someone else but yourself.

Trust me on this, if you want to find those answers, you will. They may not be the answers you expect or want but they will be what you need to know NOW in order to manifest and unfold into your own greatness.  If you honestly open up your heart and mind, you will see that even the "bad' experiences in your life are there as stepping stones to your greatness, but only if you step on and rise above them. 

I always say to my clients, if it happened to someone like me, it can happen to you! You just have to want it badly enough to do whatever it takes!

Academic Qualifications and Professional Achievements

Post Graduate level training in Humanistic and Experiential Counselling, (University of Surrey, UK);

Degree in Psychology and Political Science (Makerere University, Kampala, Uganda);

Image Management, Personal Change, Verbal and Non-Verbal Communication, Color Analysis, Power Presentations, Social & Business Etiquette, Makeup & Grooming (International Image Institute, Toronto, Canada);

Certificate in Expressive Arts Therapy (University of Surrey, UK);

Advanced Certificate in Trauma Counselling (Toronto Advanced Professional Education/University of St. Michael at University of Toronto);

Solution Focused Counselling (Faculty of Social Work, University of Toronto);

Crisis Management, Long-Term Treatment of Adult Survivors of Childhood Trauma, Treatment for Traumatized Unresolved Adult Issues (Toronto Advanced Professional Education/University of St. Michael at University of Toronto);

Addictions Studies (Toronto Advanced Professional Education/University of St. Michael at University of Toronto).

Diploma in Mass Communication (School of Mass Communication, Kampala, Uganda)

Certificate in Journalism (Uganda Management Institute)

And more...