Dating other men or women and making sure that your ex knows about it is often advocated as a tactic for getting an ex interested enough to want to get back together. But is this a wise move"

Pretending that you have moved on is a tactic that is double edged. Your ex will either swallow the bait or swim away for good. If he or she bites the bait, this will be a secret that you'll have to take to your grave. Your ex will not be particularly impressed if he or she finds out that you were using this kind of tactic to manipulate his or her feelings for you. People hate being lied to, deceived and manipulated.

Personally, I advice against using other men or women to get an ex back for two reasons: One, you may have already hurt one person (your ex) and that is why you are broken up. And two, you will likely hurt another when you unceremoniously dump them to go be with your ex. That is accumulating a lot of bad energy around you.

I know some people really don't care about "bad energy" but even if you don't give a damn about who you hurt (because you're hurting) you might not be so lucky to have "used" someone who will just fold in and die. You may find that you're with a stalker or a very revengeful person who'll make your life so miserable that it'll be impossible to enjoy a relationship with your ex -- after working so hard to get him or her back.

If your ex comes back to you because he or she felt insecure and subsequently jealous, the probability of you two breaking up again as soon as he or she thinks the "other man or woman" is out of the way is very high, unless of course you keep seeing (or pretending to be seeing) other people to keep your ex's insecurity level high. And what kind of relationship is that?

You may decide to keep your "secret tactic" with you and take it to your grave but beginning a new relationship with such sinister secrets is not always a good idea. Secrets undermine trust and set a path for a relationship built on secrets -- both ways. Relationships with many such secrets and sometimes downright dishonesty eventually get destroyed by those very secrets and lies.

Most men and women are too smart (and experienced) to buy into such a maneuver, anyways. I am assuming that your ex is smart and has a sense of pride (if not, then what are you thinking trying to get back together with someone who can be so easily deceived and whose sense of self-worth is so low?). If your ex is smart and believes in his or her self-worth, chances are higher that he or she will assume the relationship didn't mean much to you that's why you were able to move onto someone new just like that. Most exes decide that they too should move on as well. And that's the last thing you want.

Wouldn't it be really wonderful to know that someone came back because they loved you enough to want to be with you and no one else" That it was love that brought him or her back and not a trick?

Some relationships are just meant to be - don't mess things up before you've had the opportunity to find out if yours is one of those "just meant to be" relationships. There are better ways to get your ex back -- even if you've had no contact for weeks, months or years; ways that do not include manipulation and deceit but instead are straightforward, honest and love-driven.

 

When it comes to love, nothing is ever written in stone. And sometimes life does hand you second chances. The zillion dollar question is, "Are you ready, capable and willing to engage life on it's own terms?". If your ex is WORTH THE EFFORT AND DESERVING OF YOUR LOVE, you have to be willing and ready to put YOUR HEART (and not other people's hearts) on the line if that is what it takes. There is a lot of work involved but if this person is really THE ONE, all the hard work is worth it.

Don't spend the rest of your life wondering... what might have been. Life is much too precious to waste on regrets!!

 

If you resonate with what I have written here and are serious about getting back your ex, you might want to check out my e-Book: Dating Your Ex - What You Can Do Tonight, Tomorrow And The Next Day To Get Your Ex Back