Why Women Leave Good Guys For Guys Who
Are Not Good For Them

By Yangki Christine Akiteng, Love Doctor 


One of the questions I get asked so often is "Why do women choose unstable losers (alcoholics, womanizers, partiers, emotionally wounded, etc.) over stable, "good guys" like me?"

My answer is: It is the "Call of the Wild" within all of us.

Ask 100 women what they consider desirable in a guy, and they will come up with a list of 100 characteristics that they say make them desire a man instantly. Ask them to explain what that really means to them and it boils down to only one thing - PRIMAL MAGNETISM - what I like to refer to as the "Call of the Wild.”

Deep within the jungle of our minds and souls, we are programmed to be naturally attracted to the those people who remind us of the "wild” within us and are instinctively drawn to them.  So although alcoholics, womanizers, partiers, emotionally wounded, etc are short on character, they are long on facets of the self that are more unruly, highly energized, spontaneous, unpredictable, uncertain and closer to the primal forces of nature.


The problem is that both men and women have lost the essence of what is genuinely and positively ‘wild” about us and therefore have a difficult time making sense of what "wild” is good for us and what is bad for us. The end result has made things rather complicated. Many women have been scarred and left hateful of men because their own sound judgment (response to the call of the wild) is in question.


On the other hand, it drives "good guys” crazy, because the evidence seems to indicate that they must learn to be deceitful, destructive, abusive and uncaring in order to make it with women.


The truth of the matter is that most guys who call themselves "good guys” play it really "safe" by following a rigid pattern of being and doing. She might flirt with you, let you buy her a drink, like spending time with you and even feel some degree of attraction for you but after a while she is less enthused about you and may find you less delightful as a partner (the words are "there is something missing in the relationship").


If she really likes you she will insist she wants to take things slowly but next thing you know she’s back with her uncaring, abusive, alcoholic and emotionally wounded womanizing ex or fallen in love with a heavy partying unemployed moocher.

You may be a really good guy but to the women rigidity of mind, emotions and body translate into indifferent, single minded, uptight, nervous, jaded, unimaginative – BORING. And most times you are completely unaware that those rigid patterns of thoughts and behaviours play out on the outside and are clearly visible in your face (looking lifeless, tense, uneasy, and mostly older than you really are), in your gestures (a series of premeditated and sluggish movements) and in how you walk (pulling in the pelvis, tightening the muscles of the buttocks and thighs and moving feet in muscle spasms). It doesn’t look sexy and doesn’t inspire the opposite sex.


You'll save yourself many heartbreaks just by "letting go" a little and getting in touch with the "wild" inside of you. Where I come from (in the deepest ends of Africa where villagers see only one vehicle per week) they say there are some men and women with such powerful primal magnetism that they send off so many sexual vibes that even the wild animals in the bushes start pairing off.


Who knows next time she hears the "Call of the Wild", it'll be you calling and she'll come running right back into your arms.