The Love Game -
Masculine Women Feminine Men (Part 2)

By Yangki Christine Akiteng, Love Doctor

 

   

 

When it comes to the mating game, all men and women sub-consciously look for clues to each other's masculine and feminine qualities. But I wish they just stopped there. No! They test each other's qualities to the dizzy limit.

A woman who as a girl-child was encouraged to express too much of the feminine energy quickly loses interest in a man who is always ambivalent, undirected and afraid to take risks. Because she was not encouraged to develop her own masculine energy, her feminine energy needs his masculine energy to restore her inner balance and harmony. She's put off by a man who gives her just more fluidity, creativity, sensitivity, introspection, and nurturing (feminine energy).

A woman whose feminine energy is overpowered by her masculine energy on the other hand will find such a man more attractive. She needs more feminine energy in her life, so she finds his abundance of feminine energy very attractive - initially anyway.

A man who as a boy-child was encouraged to express too much of his masculine energy will find a woman whose masculine energy overpowers her feminine energy a put off. His masculine energy needs feminine energy to restore inner balance and harmony. He avoids her or emotionally shuts himself off because all he gets is more action, force, movement and firmness (masculine energy).

Because he was not encouraged to develop his own feminine energy, he finds a woman who expresses too much feminine energy more attractive- initially anyway. He needs her abundance of feminine energy to bring fluidity, creativity, sensitivity, introspection, and nurturing to his life and therefore restore balance and harmony.

And you'd think that a man whose feminine energy overpowers his masculine energy would be more attracted to a woman who is equally putting out more of the feminine energy. Nope! These men are put off by more feminine energy in their lives. Their abundant feminine energy needs masculine energy to restore inner balance and harmony. So they seek out women who bring more action, force, movement and firmness (masculine energy) into their lives.

Logic says: Let the "masculine woman" pair up with the "feminine man" and the "masculine man" with the "feminine woman". Basic common sense. Right?

You're right. In the initial stages of the relationship this balancing of energies works great. In fact this arrangement works great as long as the two people make sure the other does not upset the balance of energies.

The spoiler in this perfect harmony is change. If one partner suddenly starts feeling the need to find his or her own balance of energies, that need leads to growth which inevitably leads to change. The balance is upset. The "perfect" relationship starts having energy imbalance problems.

You find that a woman who was initially perfectly happy with a man with too much fluidity, creativity, sensitivity, introspection, and nurturing now starts complaining about his inability to take the lead, make hard decisions, take risks, be adventurous, etc. She now wants him to express more masculine energy to balance off her escalating feminine energy.

Ah! those famous words, "I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her". How girly and sweet! The only problem is that those words are coming from a woman who previously pursued a man with the aggressiveness and force normally associated with boys and men putting out unrestrained masculine energy.

A man who initially was perfectly happy with a woman who was aggressive, forceful and who brought more action and firmness into his life now starts complaining about her bossiness and controlling behaviours, constant judgemental attitude and nit-picking, insensitivity, emotional aloofness etc.

"She tells me what to do and orders me around like a child. Where is my respect?" Meow! Who wears the pants in the relationship?

Likewise, a woman who was initially attracted to a man because he was too masculine now starts complaining about his coldness, insensitivity and emotional unavailability.

"He's cold, insensitive and emotionally distant to me and our kids. I know he is doing it intentionally to hurt me".

News flash! that's the same macho man/Alfa male you married a few years ago and even had kids with. You just see more clearly now that the flashing stars in your eyes are gone.

The man who was initially attracted to a woman because of her too much feminine energy starts complaining about her timidity, clinginess and neediness, passiveness and superficiality. He now finds her too compliant or too dependant on him and wants her to be able to make decisions without asking him, be more socially aggressive and sexually exploratory.

"I just wish she was more feisty and aggressive". Remember, sensitive and nurturing?! That's what attracted you to her. Not her ferociousness.

When these energy imbalance problems reach a point where two people who started out balancing their energies by using the other's complimentary energy, feel that they can no longer go on clashing energies, they break up or get divorced. They break up not because they fell out of love but because the masculine and feminine energies were no longer complementing each other. These energies were instead interfering with the other's growth and development.

BUT... if both people grow and change together, these energies balance off again at some point. Some couples can live a happy lifetime together feeding off each other's energies, growing and changing together. Here you can say opposites do indeed attract. A lot depends on the individuals concerned - and how they handle the other's growth and change.

Not everyone can live happily ever after feeding off the other's energies. And there are no guarantees that you'll both grow and change together -- or even at the same pace. That's why if you're single and still looking. The best thing you can do for yourself is to reconcile your masculine and feminine energy first.

Once you begin to think about this and look at yourself with the acknowledge that both energies are operating within you, you can consciously, deliberately, and purposefully use your masculine and feminine energies to attract a partner who compliments your already balanced energies.

Yes. That's right. You will understand a lot more about the opposite sex, their thoughts, actions and behaviours because you're already experiencing and expressing the very same energies they're experiencing and expressing only the emphasis, degree, quantity and relation to each other is different.

With your masculine energy you will enjoy making the hard decisions and providing an assertive masculine lead for your partner to follow half the time; and with your feminine energy you will enjoy supporting and following your partner's assertive masculine lead half of the time. With your feminine energy you'll be able to intuitively tune into your partner's deepest feelings, show concern, fluidity, creativity, sensitivity, and nurture him or her, and your energy balanced partner will do the same another time.

This is the kind of relationship that will inspire love, joy, constructive communication, productivity, fulfillment and eternal gratitude. This is the kind of relationship that will keep the chemistry and passion between two people of the opposite sex going not just going at it all night long - but for a life time!

Part 1 of the article briefly explains the masculine and feminine energies and the role they play in our daily lives.

Here is a simple exercise to get you started in this introspective process of understanding and accessing you own sexual mystic code.

 

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