On a surface level, you may be doing everything to be attractive, sensitive, engaging, fun, thoughtful, imaginative, sexual and all the other stuff, but for some (stupid') reason you get the opposite reaction; women pull away, women put you down; women complain that you are not sensitive, engaging, fun, (even when that is exactly what you are you are trying to do). You've tried everything guys successful with women do, but while they have women all over them (even when they are jerks), you on the other hand get ignored or rejected time and time again.
Why do the same things work for some men and not for others?
These days we hear statements like, "you teach people how to treat you" or "your thoughts create your reality" or "you attract people who are a mirror of yourself".
While these kind of statements are irritating, on closer inspection, they do hold truth.
Here's the thing. Many men who make women uncomfortable and put them off are very intelligent, very logical, open or closet perfectionist, sensitive and often thoughtful. While they have all these great qualities about them, these same qualities are also their downfall.
1. Many of these men underestimate their own ability to attract women or interact socially and feel (or are convinced) their past failures with women is a confirmation of a never-ending pattern of defeat.
2. They feel that they need to know EXACTLY what to do with women or things will go wrong. In their all-or-nothing thinking, if their performance falls short of perfect by even one tiny notch, they are a total failure. Positive experiences don't count.
3. They terrorize themselves with negative thinking to the point that they are internally paralyzed by fear. And if they try to motivate themselves, they use the same 'terrorist tactics" related to all-or-nothing thinking. The emotional consequence is anxiety, guilt, shame, anger, frustration, resentment and even depression - and they do it to themselves.
4. They often think the only way to create attraction is to try to control the outer circumstances of their lives or to try to fix what seems WRONG and so they dwell on the negative detail until all reality becomes distorted.
5. They anticipate rejection and even look forward to it. They expect that things will turn out badly and feel convinced that their prediction is an already established fact.
But what happens when we spend so much time imagining and planning for the WORST outcome? What happens when we invest so much time and energy on what we DON'T want to happen and less and less time and energy on what we DO want to happen?
We CREATE WHAT WE DON'T WANT.
Are some men predisposed to think the WORST outcome when it comes to women?
Your first contact with a woman (usually mother, caregivers, grandmothers, aunts, sisters, cousins, friends, girlfriends) sets up the blueprint for all your future interactions with women. If your early experiences were negative: rejection, control, manipulation, abuse etc., you will tend to sub-consciously expect this same treatment from all women:
"If I approach her, she'll ignore me or tell me to eff off."
"A woman like that will never be attracted to me. I am not that good looking."
"If she goes out on a date with me, she'll find me boring and reject me"
"Women and relationships are generally too complicated. Why even try?"
'She's probably guarded, so I have to disarm her. It'll be difficult but I am expecting that, so I'm ready."
"I am not able to take care of myself. How do I expect to take care of someone else?"
"So-and-so called me a loser. Women are never attracted to losers like me."
The worst thing about all this is that, on a GUT LEVEL (sub-conscious) you act in ways that you think and feel will prevent your WORST FEARS from happening only for it to end up happening.
Whether you believe it or not, the role of the sub-conscious in your life is as truth as birth and death. You are controlled by its influence during your entire life span. And it's automatic; you react without noticing. It's an attitude; your thought life turned inside out. It's a lifestyle: you have been thinking and doing it this way for so long. It's irrational; thinking your future into existence doesn't make logical sense. It's telepathic; women can sniff out the negativity (low self-esteem, anxiety, anger, frustration, resentment etc) going on inside you like a dog sniffs out a bone!
What if you decided today, in fact what if you start NOW focusing on the BEST outcome in your interactions with women? What if you turned your inner automatic switch from what you don't want to what you WANT to see happen' ? That would probably be VERY HARD, right? May be it doesn't even MAKE SENSE. Or may be you just THINK success with women will never happen for you, WHAT'S THE POINT?
Unfortunately, giving up will not solve your problems either!
If you'd like to develop your own seduction brand and learn how to seduce by inspiration, my e-Book is a perfect tool for awakening the natural seducer already inside of you.