I have a habit of browsing through online profiles -- for both men and women -- just to see how others are dating and relating. I am taken, so it's not like I am looking, but I must admit sometimes I "fantasize" about what it'd be like to be "looking" at this stage in my life when I am not as "drama-queen" as I used to be.

Anyways, I was looking at the profiles, and it struck me that many online profiles have "BORING MEN/WOMEN NEED NOT RESPOND" written all over them!

It seems to me that most people's lives are dull, repetitive, boring and annoying, and unfortunately this dull, repetitive sameness transfers into their love lives as well. And online daters are savvy enough to realize that with "boring" people, all you get are boring details of unimportant events that occur in their boring lives. You're perhaps the only thing that they hope will brighten up their dull boring existence for them. It can't get any more boring than that!

Actually, it can get more be boring than that. Being bored by someone does not mean you yourself aren't boring, after a while, boredom does kind of get boring.

The one thing you don't want to do is be boring. Everybody, even boring people themselves loathe being bored by a boring date - unless you're super model attractive or have a sizeable bank account.

If you find yourself always meeting and dating boring people, you just might want to check if the problem is not them - but you.

1. Visually dull appearance

You may not even necessarily be a boring person but if your presence is typically a lifeless looking body in a dull jacket/blouse speaking in a bland monotonous voice, people will assume you are boring.

2. An unimaginative textbook approach

Nothing is as boring as the same old unoriginal (and frankly meaningless) cheesy and sickening pick-up lines, conversation starters or one track storylines.

3. Pretending to be what you aren't

Pretenders, posers and egomaniacs are truly some of the most predictable wearisome (and irritating) people to be around.

4. Meaningless existence

If you have nothing interesting happening in your life you'll tend to talk about that ONE interest, idea or passion of yours (if there is even any). That's it, nothing else. There is nothing more frustrating than wasting time trying to pull some sort of conversation out of people.

5. Pessimism and negativity

Chronic negativity and pessimism is not just boring, it drains other people's joy. It is emotionally draining to be around people who always feel like they are being threatened or attacked and who hate everything and everybody including themselves!

 

6. Mal-functioning sensitivity chip

 

If there's one thing worse than an overly-sensitive woman and wimpy man, it's men and women suffering from insensitivity. No one wants to be PC all the time or be constantly explaining themselves or walking around your "overly sensitive feelings" but no one wants to be "beat down" in order for you to feel good about yourself either.

 

7. No fun-attitude

May be you have become lazy with technology and sitting in front of computers hours on end and have forgotten what's like to play and have fun again. Lack of an attitude of "fun" equates to lack of conviction.

8. Goofiness

Goofiness has got it's cut-off limit --when it ceases to be endearing and gets really annoying. Showing the "uninhibited" side of you does not include acting spoofy or cartoonish or uselessly and needlessly "sexual". Just maintaining a level of energy that's a notch above your date will do.

 

9. Sexual insecurity

Sexual insecurity isn't sexy. It's a turn-off. Your problem could be that you just don't have that air of "sexual" about you either because you haven't allowed yourself to BE in that way or because you lack the KNOW-HOW. Whatever it is, it's an instant turn-off!

10. Solitary tendencies and lifestyle

The hermit idea, whether it is in the social, business, or intellectual sphere, means death to attractiveness, because it is unsocial, and makes fellowship impossible. If you want people to stick around you need to desire to stick around yourself.

If you want to create attraction instead of boredom, you're going to have to learn how to make pleasant eye contact, be friendly, show enthusiasm (enthusiasm is contagious), give yourself permission to take risks and most importantly clear your plate of unnecessary preoccupations. Nobody can have an unlimited supply of cooperative sense, confidence, sense of security and trust when he or herself is run down and dejected. You cannot enter into the life of other people, if your own life is warped, empty, out of shape and diseased. You cannot be a bearer of good tidings if the only reports you get from your own bodily machine are wails, and gestures of coming disaster. You need to be fresh, resilient, and abounding in vitality and force. Then you have something to give!