Masculine Women - Feminine Men Pt. 1
By Yangki Christine Akiteng, Love Doctor
What happens when men don't act masculine and women don't act
feminine?
But first, what is masculine and what is feminine?
Masculine and feminine are terms often equated with the
biological equivalent of male and female, or social equivalent
of man and woman. But in realty, the distinction between
masculine and feminine goes far beyond biological, psychological
and psychosexual constructs. It transcends cultural, religious
and societal notions of male and female, man and woman.
The masculine and feminine, the yin and yang, the anima and
animus by definition are consciousness or energies we each
possess in equal amounts -- men and woman alike. Each of these
energies is like one side of a coin. Neither is more or less
important than the other - they both are very necessary
dimensions of our human be-ingness.
Each of us, men and woman alike can (and often do) express these
two energies; only the emphasis, degree, quantity and relation
to each other are different. Masculine energy is primarily
emphasized in how we operate our outer world and primarily
expressed by action, force, movement and firmness. Feminine
energy on the other hand, is primarily pronounced in how we
operate our inner world and primarily expressed by fluidity,
creativity, sensitivity, introspection, and nurturing.
The quantity of energy we express (at any one time) bestows on
us a masculine or feminine persona/traits. The family, culture,
religion and society we're raised in greatly influences which
energy we express more of, when and how.
Traditionally, boys who are naturally physically stronger and
more physically adept are often encouraged to express more of
the masculine energy serving to reinforce a sense of
masculinity. We see this abundance of masculine energy out on
the playground with little boys kicking things and pushing one
another, challenging and expanding their outer world. Battles
over who is stronger and more physically adept further serve to
reinforce their sense of masculinity.
A man whose sense of masculinity is not fully developed or is
weak, is unable to take lead, to direct, to trust himself, to
take risks and to move into the world around him with
self-confidence. He has lots of fears and doubts; fears and
doubts about himself and his ability to operate his outer world.
But most importantly, he is afraid to put himself out there
because he somehow thinks his lack of "masculinity" will be
obvious to others. In some instances he'll put on a "macho"
persona to mask his fears and doubts.
Most families, cultures, religions and societies on the other hand encourage girls to express more of the feminine energy serving to reinforce a sense of femininity. We see this abundance of feminine energy in little girls found sitting around grooming each other, relating intimately and showing concern for each other's feelings and well-being.
A woman whose sense of femininity is not fully developed or is weak, is selfish and self-seeking. Instead of creating
a safe, supportive and nurturing space, she controls and
interferes with the lives of others (especially the man in her
life). She has a hard time allowing others (spouse, children and
close social networks) choose their own obligations and own path
or direction in life without being manipulated or hindered by
her. She's more concerned with her own well-being than the
well-being of others.
Masculine energy though encouraged in women and more expressed
by men must also exist in a woman for that woman to be well
adjusted and balanced. Likewise, feminine energy though
encouraged in men and more expressed by men must also exist in a
man for that man to be well adjusted and balanced. An imbalanced
and disharmony in our masculine and feminine energies can have
enormous consequences on a variety of levels.
When our masculine and feminine energies are not complementing
each other but are instead interfering with one another, we feel
confusion and unrest, incompleteness and a disconnection within
ourselves and with out outer world (including our relationships
with others). But when the energies are well adjusted and
harmoniously balanced we feel more connected, in harmony, at
peace and whole within ourselves and with out outer world
(including our relationships with others).
Masculine energy without the feminine energy to balance it off
can cause a person to be cold, insensitive and emotionally
closed off, reckless, wasteful, overly critical and aggressive
(even physically violent). Most men and women who express too
much of the masculine energy find themselves too
outwardly-focused and out of synch with their own deepest
feelings and the feelings of others because they lack that
feminine energy that drives fluidity, creativity, sensitivity,
introspection, supportiveness and nurturing.
Feminine energy without the masculine energy to balance it off
can cause a person to be too timid, too passive, superficial,
compliant, clingy and needy, unable to make decisions, overly
dependent, vulnerable to exploitation and abuse. Most men and
women who express too much of the feminine energy find
themselves too inwardly-focused and unable to move forward in
their lives. They stop engaging and challenging their outer
worlds and instead go too far into their inner worlds and
sometimes find themselves stuck because they lack that masculine
energy that drives action, force, movement and firmness.
Men and women must express both aspects of these energies if
they want to live happy, productive and fulfilling lives all by
ourselves or with a partner.
Once you begin to think about this and look at life with the
acknowledge that both energies are operating within you, you
will appreciate your own dual conciseness more. As a man, you
can afford to express your feminine energy without feeling a
threat to your masculinity because your masculinity is already
strong and developed. And as a woman, you can afford to express
your masculine energy without feeling a threat to your
femininity because your femininity is already strong and
developed.
Part 2 of the article briefly explains how this energies play out in a male-female relationship.
Here is a simple exercise to get you started in this introspective process of understanding and accessing you own sexual mystic code.
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